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Dona eis requiem

I'm still doing a slow burn over Mark's death (more on that below), but after the requiem Eucharist on Tuesday evening, my attitude is "There's a hole where he used to be, and it will be a while getting through this, but by God we sent him off properly." I definitely feel better.

Many diverse groups pulled together, and gave of their best. The choir came back from summer recess and music was terrific, including idasusan's exquisite solos and at least one hymn that qualified as an old-time barnburner*; the liturgy went smoothly; the homily was short and to the point; and the food was outstanding, even by this parish's exacting standards. Mark was a music wonk, a liturgy wonk, a man of great spiritual learning, and enjoyed a good meal, so he would have been quite pleased. (My mental picture of him has definitely changed from Scowly Mark to Happy Mark.)

* He and I both grew up as Methodists and that was back in the day before congregations started subbing "praise bands" for Charles Wesley and co.

Helping organize the foodz was a joy; the liturgical side was well taken care of and I put my Personal Superpower of knowing where everything was in the kitchen to good use. I took it easy for what I brought - Trader Joe's shrimp and another round of Barb's Brownies - but the hostess (one of Mark's BFFs) has definite feed-the-world tendencies and a lot of people brought stuff as well. We had four tables full of Good Things and another one for serving out the drinks. The evening was warm and people stayed and mingled.

My slow burn was kicked off during the homily, the basic conceit of which was that Mark was a dogged seeker after spiritual knowledge, and in many ways had not been able to enjoy the fruits of his labor on earth. This combined with the overheard remark "that wasn't the party you were planning, it was a wedding, not a funeral" to make me think

HOSHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT.

He was with his partner for 36 years. I was furious that they had to wait for state sanction ... only to be foiled at the end. They. should. not. have. had. to. do. this.

In my personal life, physical things around me still are falling apart - my espresso maker seems to have given up the ghost, and my laptop is currently not booting. But with large issues of death and sorrow - including the hurricanes barrelling for Louisiana, again, Lord have mercy on us all - it's like my car engine in that it's only money, and I've got the money.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
1ginko
Aug. 31st, 2008 02:34 am (UTC)
So sorry. It does seem like a lot is hitting all at once. May you have strength and may things begin to improve soon.
anita_margarita
Aug. 31st, 2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
What you have written is heartrending.
prairierabbit
Sep. 1st, 2008 02:48 am (UTC)
I admire your ability to keep things in perspective. But it really seems like you've gotten hammered on both the big and medium/little things lately. **hugs**

As for the HOSHIT moment, yes. It's absolutely wrong that they didn't get the wedding they deserved. Everytime I hear about a situation like your friend Mark's I become more determined that there will come a day when the whole nation catches up and treats everyone fairly.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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