Charlotte (CLB)'s LJ (berkeleyfarm) wrote,
Charlotte (CLB)'s LJ

  • Mood:

On the edge

The strain of the last couple of weeks really got to me on Thursday. (It probably wasn't helped by, erm, hormonal fluctuations.) I spent a fair fraction of the afternoon crying quietly at my desk (happily it was one of those No Big Crises days) and had a big ol' wobbly driving home. I had learned that the dates for the Colorado shipmeet had changed and I maybe wouldn't get a vacation (which I really need) after all. It reminded me scarily of my last months at Chiron, where I wondered if I had to go nuts or quit to get some time off (both, as it turned out).

I got cried out (and started b-r-e-a-t-h-i-n-g) at some point. I was pretty calm, but feeling wrung out, by the time I got to acupuncture. I talked to my dad briefly before the session started and invited myself for lunch on Mother's Day (*grin*). On the table I started working on the meditation type stuff and started hearing the verse of one of the hymns we sung last Sunday that was about peace in my mind's ear. It definitely made me feel like a real human being again.

I really didn't get jack shit done at the office on Friday, though. It was like being severely hung over. cat_herder called, wanting to go out to dinner and be a little social, and I was seriously in doubt that I would be up to even minimal, but we went to Picante and drank margaritas. I'm a bit tired today because I had interrupted sleep (finally put Miss Thing in the office and conked out), but have, happily, managed to do at least some productive things. I am planning to be out like a light tonight.

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