I seem to be doing the processing that serenejournal was trying to avoid. Oh well.

Anyway. I'm still processing; it will take a while, I suppose, as Maya's actual exit was pretty speedy. I spent a lot of time pacing around the office yesterday as if I were holding her (which I did a lot of, especially when she got older). The pillow that she spent part of that last uncomfortable night on is still in the same place, and I visualized her on it, and patted the meatloafed phantom Maya (it was one of her favorite observe-the-sleeping-and-reading-Charlotte spots). I heard her purring in my mind's ear.

Today I was also pacing around the office but the phantom cat wanted down so I let her down. My earworm also changed to the old gospel favorite, "Safe in the arms of Jesus".

My therapist told me that the Buddhists say it takes forty days for a creature to leave this earth after death ... I thought that maybe I wasn't the only one adjusting to the new order.

Re Maggie. I would like to thank those of you who told me that I needed another cat. At the moment there is a Maya-shaped hole in my life, but it would be a lot tougher on me if I didn't have Maggie greeting me enthusiastically when I got home, purring big all over the place, and just in general being TEH CUTE!!!1!! Last night she calmed her busy girl self down enough to curl on my lap at the computer for about fifteen minutes or so, purring loudly and making goo-goo eyes at me. Mind you, Maya at even Maggie's age could sit and purr for as long as you'd let her (she was always a Class A Love Bug), but it was awfully sweet.